I just got back from my week long End of Year Retreat and since my return to the real world, I’ve been asked this a couple of times – What are your resolutions for 2017? It makes perfect sense to set these resolutions, after all, it’s the beginning of a new year. Perfect time to turn a new page, start a new chapter, be a new you! Yes? Not quite.

The guys at Statistic Brain Research Institute state that over 40% of people who start New Year’s Resolutions, fail. While only 9% feel they are actually successful in achieving their resolution each year. NINE PERCENT>> Yikes!

I’m about to share with you the four (and a half) biggest mistakes people make when setting their New Year’s Resolutions – which causes them to fail. As well as exactly what you need to do to one-up these mistakes and ensure you are living your highest potential with each new year.

After all, we’ve only got a few years on this planet. Let’s live them well. Read on!

Why most new year's resolutions fail, and what you can do to come out smiling!

1. Resolution Overload!

I’ll start with one of the biggest mistakes people make when setting new year’s resolutions. Making too many of them! It’s as though we sometimes think we have become super human or worse- god-like and can do absolutely everything at the same time. You cannot! You have to be aware of your finite nature, your finite brain, body and energy and let yourself off that hook.

God is omnipresent (everywhere at once). You’re not. He is omniscient (all-knowing). Once again, you aren’t. He can and is doing more each second than you can even imagine, but you can only do a certain number of focused tasks -successfully- at a time.

Yet we want to have our cake, plus 5 other ones in hand and eat them all too. So we make a New Years resolution list that looks like this –

  1. Grow business by 50%
  2. Start healthy lifestyle- exercise 3x a week
  3. Come out of $20,000 debt
  4. Apply for a Master’s Program
  5. Get a promotion at work
  6. Spend more time with family

AND

7. Learn how to drive stick

It feels great to have a list like this. Feels like you’re about to conquer the world. Like you are going to KILL this year and finally start living the perfect life you have envisioned from way too long ago.

Yet 3 weeks in, you feel completely overwhelmed, unsure of where to start, what to focus on and are completely stressed out and tired from trying to do it all. As they say you’re burning the rope from EVERY end.

new year's resolutions fail

Wisdom Key

Instead of making a list with an undetermined number of goals for the year, limit yourself to 3 top things you want to see changed this year. You can have a side wish list with absolutely everything you want.

After you have accomplished one of the three, then include the next one from your wish list, but do not add to your plate until you have fleshed out each new habit or completed one task. Until you have begun to live out one of your lifestyle changes effortlessly. Capishe? Capishe.

2. You Put Matter Over Mind (Get it? Mind over matter? lolol)

Instead of focusing on how to change the way you think, you focus on changing external habits alone. Forgetting that as a man thinks in his heart, so is he. So you grit your teeth, squeeze your eyes, wrinkle your forehead, cross your fingers – toes – eyes – trying to become someone you are not inside.

Trying to change the externals, when you haven’t dealt with the necessary mind patterns that dictate the daily decisions you are making.

As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 23:7 #livewell #wisdomClick To Tweet

This can actually prove to be very detrimental to you. If you push your body to adjust to a reality that your mind has not accepted, you end up sabotaging yourself in that endeavour. Then, your past or present failure within that task becomes a greater burden to overcome as you try the next time to accomplish it (or other tasks).

For example, you can make a New Year’s Resolution to lose weight or start going to the gym, but  ignore targeting your mind. Changing the way you view your body, the way you understand healthy living, the way you view food (comfort, stress relief etc)… starting to get my point?

Your resolution is much bigger than the final product. It’s about what thought patterns have led you to where you are now, and what you are changing about it, to ensure your entire being is headed in the direction you think it is or want it to.

2b. There is no Carrot on the Stick!

When you address the mind behind your new year’s resolution, you must also address the why. You have to know the deep, root reason you have that item on your list.

WHAT IS YO’ CARROT?!

Too many people think their minds will be satisfied with simply losing weight. Uhhh, no. Your inner being needs to begin to understand what losing weight will do for your entire life. The inner you is crying out to know why you have been subjecting yourself to these past 2 weeks of grueling gym time.

Is it to have more energy to run around with your nieces and nephews?
Or because your family has had a history of diabetes and that is the last thing you need in life?
Is it because you love your hubby and want to look your best for him?

Why do you want to lose weight?

If you do not know why, you will, not might, will fail at it. Because once the first challenge smacks you on the behind, it will become too inconvenient to continue.

Wisdom Key

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing.
Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honourable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.
Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
Philippians 4:8

As you make your top 3 resolutions (or goals as I call them), begin to ask yourself these questions-

What brought me to this point (financially, health wise, in my relationships etc)?
What do I have to change internally to make sure that if I hit this goal, I do not default back to where I am now or worse?
Why do I want to change this?
Where do I envision myself related to this matter?
Why?
Is this matter holding me back in other areas of my life?
What thought patterns can I begin to implement to change the way I think about this entire topic?

When you have limited the number of resolutions or goals you are focusing on, answered these questions, you can then move forward to the third reason most New Year’s Resolutions.

3. They make wishes and not goals.

Ooooh this one is a kicker. It deserves to be numero UNO because so.many.people.DO IT! They treat New Year’s Resolutions like wishes! Like letters to the tooth fairy that you can simply write, place under your pillow (or on the altar at church with your offering stuffed in it), do absolutely nothing and still see a magical turnaround by the end of the year. 

Half way through, they realize they haven’t gotten as far as they had hoped, figure the wish simply wasn’t granted and “move on” carrying the baggage of despondency, discouragement and hope deferred.

Wisdom Key

Make for gosh-darn sure your New Year’s goals are actionable. Please.

There is so much to say on this, but that is a blog post all it’s own. Until that blog post is created, click here to get on the waiting list for my FREE goal setting (and accomplishing) email course or schedule a one-on-one Purpose Call where we can see whether I am the right fit to help coach you into living at your life’s highest potential.

The last reason I believe many people fail at their New Year’s Resolutions is
*Drum roll please*

4. Because they take themselves WAY too seriously.

I’ve seen way way WAY :) too many people give up and beat themselves up when things don’t work out they way they envisioned. Instead of getting back up, dusting themselves off and getting back in the race. Nike said “Just Do It”, I say “Keep on doing it”. Keep on doing it even after you’ve “failed” in men’s eyes or by your own standards.

For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again,
But the wicked stumble in time of calamity.
Proverbs 24:16

That’s so good I’ll say it again-

For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again,
But the wicked stumble in time of calamity.
Proverbs 24:16

You choose what camp you’re in. Get back up after you’ve fallen. Laugh at your own mistakes. Myself and my husband say the exact same thing after tiny inconsequential mistakes and huge “it’s gonna take us a few months to recover from this one” mistakes – “You live and you learn”. We laugh, encourage each other and keep it moving.

If you’ve made the mistake today, at least you are much less likely to make that mistake again tomorrow. So laugh it off, forgive yourself and move on!

Ya hurd?

Alright! Now ask yourself the following questions as you set (or reset) your New Year’s Resolution for 2017.

  1. Is it concise. Limited. Finite. Like I am?
  2. What part of my thinking led me here and how can I change it?
  3. WHAT IS MY CARROT?
  4. What is my goal? Is it actionable? Is it SMART?
  5. Have I allowed me past failures to sap my joy and drive? How can I begin to forgive myself and enjoy life – mistakes included?

new year's resolutions fail

Your friends and family also have goals, resolutions and want to achieve their BEST this year so make sure to share this blog with them and give them tools to getting ’em done! 

If you have been battling with the same New Year’s Resolutions for years and have yet to see yours (or God’s) dreams come to life, you might need a life coach! Click here to book a Purpose Call, and see whether I am the right fit to help you begin to live at your life’s highest potential.

Until next time, live well, live wisely
Toyin


Let’s Talk!

What are YOUR New Year’s Resolutions (or goals as I call mine)?
A few of mine are learn to cook 3 more Nigerian dishes -one of my highlights from last year,
Be a LOT more flexible about everything around me -I’m expecting TONS of change this year,
And fearlessly do what God is telling me to do- nothing more, nothing less. (this is a much more specific list I’m just pleading the 5th on the deets ;)